Happy First Birthday Oliver!

Dear Oliver,

A year ago I was anxiously awaiting your arrival. I admit I was struggling with the thought of sharing myself between you and your sister. I was already in love with you, knew how much I would love you when you got here, but I had a hard time comprehending how I could love another one as much as I loved Avery. Well, you were born and instantaneously that thought escaped my mind. It was so effortless. You were 9 1/2 pounds of pure love; my perfect, little boy. We all had you pinned for an April 15th birthday, but you had other plans. You stretched out that labor in your own, not-so-fun-for-mommy ways. At 2:27am on April 16th you finally made your arrival. The nurses said you were 19 inches but you were so long there was no way that was true. Sure enough at your 5 day appointment you measured 21 inches. The doctor said you were likely so squished in me that your joints were tight and couldn't stretch out right away. The moment you arrived the nurses rushed to weigh you. They said they wanted to give me credit for how big you were before you pooped!😂

When I found out you were going to be a boy I was beyond thrilled. Now I get the best of both worlds; a little girl and a little boy. And you, my love, are ALL boy. Lots of energy, lots of trouble-making, lots of messes. Did I mention lots of energy? Somehow time is going by faster than it did before you were born. I am constantly studying everything about you. Your beautiful, blue eyes; your loose curls behind your ears; your tiny fingers and toes (although you were born with giant feet!); your smile that is now full of little teeth. I study you closely because you are my baby; my last baby. You'll probably hear this from me again and again, but I can't believe how fast time is going. It doesn't even seem possible that you are a year old. You grew faster than I ever imagined you would and life is more hectic (especially right now) than I ever thought possible. It seriously was like we brought you home from the hospital and I blinked and you were 3 months old and I was heading back to work, then I blinked again and you were 8 months old and it was Christmas time, and now I blinked again and we made it to your first birthday.

You have had a strong personality since day one - you know what you want and when you want it. You went from a baby who was content on a blanket with a few toys to a child who is constantly on the move. You don't stay in one place for too long. You are into everything and as difficult as that is sometimes, I wouldn't change it for anything. But sometimes it is exhausting! You have incredible determination and you are full of mischief. We have had to hide the dog's food and water dishes because of how determined you are. There are no amount of toys or distractions one you have your mind set on one thing (and usually that thing is something you are not supposed to have). You have the sweetest soul. Your smile is contagious and your belly laughs are infectious. You love to give hugs and kisses. Your two favorites are Avery and your dog, Memphis - they get the most hugs and kisses from you!

It has been such a blessing to experience all of the baby firsts with you. It is bittersweet for me because even though it's your first at everything, it's our family's last. Your sister will always be the oldest and you will always be the youngest. It is so amazing to see you and your sister together. Like all siblings you have your up and downs, and each one will help shape you both. I know you two will stick together - I can already tell. It is the most beautiful thing. You have completed our family and I am so excited to see what life brings you. I just hope time will slow down a bit, because I don't want to blink and miss one second. I love you more than you'll ever know.

Happy 1st birthday my sweet, sweet Oliver Raymond!

Love,
Mommy

Dear Avery and Oliver

Dear Avery and Oliver,

You won't remember this, but I will. You won't remember this, but when you were both just beginning your lives, life around you turned from something so predictable into something unprecedented. The corona virus has become a pandemic and it has thrown the world into utter chaos. You won't remember this, but crazy people bought out every store of toilet paper and people began to panic (don't worry - we have plenty of toilet paper and no I did not hoard it). You won't remember this, but national sports leagues, concerts and international flights have been canceled or postponed. Even Disney closed their doors. You won't remember this Avery, but your school closed. All classes were canceled. Older children are learning from home on their computers. You lost out on some of your favorite days. You are smart though, you know something is different. You miss your friends, you miss your teachers and you miss your routine. Being three, this is nothing you can quite comprehend so you're told "You'll see your friends again soon." And I hope that I am right. You won't remember this, but the virus is spreading fast, most people are staying home, except your mom. I go to work every day, do my best to stay healthy (constantly washing my hands to the point of discomfort), help others rehabilitate and then come back home. I leave my boots and clothes in the garage. I come inside and right away get greeted by the biggest "MOMMY!" from you Avery and the biggest drooly smile from you Oliver. All I want to do is pick you both up and give you hugs and kisses, but I don't. Instead I quickly say hi and run upstairs to shower, change into clean clothes, wash my hands for the umpteenth time and then find your smiles again. You won't remember this, but I will. We are practicing "social distancing". We stay home instead of taking you to do fun things like go to the park, go out to eat, or go to a friend's house. Instead we play out in the back yard, we order take out and we FaceTime with friends. We are doing our part to keep ourselves healthy and to keep others around us healthy too. You won't remember this Oliver but you're turning a year old during a major pandemic. On your birthday, it will likely be only be mommy, daddy and Avery who get to celebrate with you. It is certainly not how I imagined your first birthday to go, but I am thankful for what we have and for being together as a family.

This continues to unfold as I write this letter to you. I know you won’t remember the chaos, but here is what I do hope you remember: how loved and safe you feel right now. The fun of having daddy home every day and watching him work in his home office. Playing outside in the backyard in search of treasures and collecting “Olaf hands” (aka branches). Playing school with Mimi during the week; practicing coloring, cutting with scissors and reading lots of books. Pretending to be Miss Carol at gym class in our basement; completing obstacle courses you create with your gym equipment. Oliver learning to stand on his own and taking his first attempts at walking. Wrestling with each other and playing together in your playroom. Snuggling up to watch Frozen 2 or Star Wars and having dance parties in the kitchen. These are the memories I hope you make. There are no guarantees. It is still possible that we might get sick despite our best efforts. We are doing our best to protect you. After this letter is written things will continue to change. But one thing that will never change is how much love and security you will have and (more importantly) FEEL during these times. People are panicking. Your mom and dad are being cautious, prepared and of course, worried for our safety and health. And we worry about the safety and health of the ones around us and the ones we love. But that’s not a burden meant for you. We will be okay. If the only memories you have from this time are good ones, then I did my job.

Love,
Mom